Can I be real with you for a second? I mean like vulnerably real? I compare myself to damn near everybody. It’s almost like a hobby of mine. I’ll scroll through Instagram, Facebook and tap through Snapchat to see how other people are prospering…or at least seem to be. Achievements, parenthood, business, awards, love life, vacations, family. Nothing is safe from my art of comparing mine to theirs. Or even yours. A lot of times I feel like I come up short.
Like too many of us, I give myself a hard time. I got pregnant at 17, made horrible choices in men, was still working on my bachelors when a lot of people I went to highschool with finished their Masters, been working on a book since for-ev-aaaaa, finances are in shambles and I’m still not quite sure what in the world I’m doing with my life. Shit is scary, to say the least. And to terrorize myself even more, I go and check out everybody’s highlight realm on social media.
Oh, look at so and so…she’s such an awesome mom. I wish I could do more things like that with Kamiya. Wow, so and so bought a house…I wish I had the money (and credit!) to buy myself a house. Her outfit is cute. His car is nice. I love how she gets to work from home. Another vacay? How sweet! I mean, the comparison list goes on and on into forever. I annoy myself with it. And while at times comparing can be a motivational tool, far too often I use it as a tool to assist in my “I’m not good enough” pity party.
Going out on a limb here, I’m not the only one who does this. I mean sure, you may not be on my level but comparing is human nature, right? Well I made a vow to myself to cut it out *insert corny “you need to cut ittt” verse here*. I may not be exactly where I want to be. I may not even be halfway there.But I’m a hell of a lot closer than I was last year, last month, or even in the last 24 hours. We all have our setbacks but we also have our come ups. No matter how “short” they may feel, they deserve to be celebrated.
So today, I celebrate myself for graduating high school and getting my bachelors degree when statistics say I should’ve dropped out. I celebrate me going back to school to get my Masters. I celebrate moving into an apartment that is safe and spacious. I celebrate going to therapy because I admit, I’m a bit off at times. I celebrate me deserving love despite how off I am. I celebrate the fact that even though I feel like a complete f*ck-up as a mom, my daughter tolerates me and actually likes being with me. I celebrate the love I give. And lastly, I celebrate writing this post because honestly, who wants to share that they practically stalk other people’s lives on the internet?
What will you celebrate yourself for today? Whether it’s because you got out of bed to face another day, passed a test, decided to not beat yourself up today, or you graduated med school…cheers to you! #You’reTheRealMVP