Have you ever did someone wrong and now the only comfort they find is your misery? You’ve apologized and tried to make up for it but they aren’t happy unless you’re disgusted with yourself and what you’ve done to them…forever.
I like to call this Sadness Quicksand. Most of you know what quicksand is, but for those who do not, quicksand is loose wet sand that yields easily to pressure and sucks in anything resting on or falling into it. Keywords: falling into it.
Sometimes, people will want you to fall into their sadness + stay stuck in it. If they are sad, you are supposed to be sad. If you did them wrong, then they’ll get mad at you because they want you to stay in an apologetic state. They’ll always want you to proclaim your guilt.
I’ve been there. I have done my wrongs to people, apologized, and I wouldn’t feel better until they forgave me or until it was smoothed over. Depending on the degree of the offense, being down about messing up is common + normal. However, no matter how big or small the offense, you have to move on. You have to say “I apologize. I did not mean to hurt you.” or even if you did mean to hurt them, tell them that you regret it and wish that you didn’t and that you would like to move forward and do what is necessary to make it right.
After that, you don’t need to go back + forth and bend over backwards, doing A-Z or one through one million trying to make them happy again.
If they want to still be upset over the situation, then give them the space to be upset. People have the right to be upset for a few days (or even longer depending on the circumstance). Sometimes people can stretch it and decide to be upset way longer than what they need to be. Someone may be upset for a year because you told someone they snore in their sleep. But because they’re upset during that time, doesn’t mean that you have to beat yourself up the whole time they’re angry.
You apologized and asked for forgiveness. Ask God for forgiveness. Forgive yourself. And then move on. Nobody has the time to reflect and sulk over something that you know that you have genuinely apologized for.
And honestly speaking, if this is someone who is mature and actually cares about you, they wouldn’t want you to be in quicksand anyway. Because I mean, no matter what someone has done, do you really care about them if you see like to see them be swallowed whole?
Until next time…